This has been brewing for a few days, but finally came to a head today. I wanted to move the discussion here away from naamah_darling's journal, as it's not fair to her to have to deal with this kind of posting back and forth.

Sexism and the use of the word "Bitch"

Apparently, I'm an ignorant, bigoted sexist for using the term "bitch" pejoratively towards a woman.

I do not think that the word "bitch" is sexist and bigoted, nor do I think "dickhead" is. Other people may disagree. I will not, however, refuse to use either word just because it may offend the oversensitive sensibilities of a few people whose opinion I do not value.

There are words I do not use because they offend; racial remarks and "retard" spring to mind. I don't care what race someone is, they're human. And I've met too many wonderful autistic and otherwise mentally handicapped people to use the word retard. In its traditional place, I use the term "fuckwit" for someone who has no cognitive impairment to excuse the lack of sense the gods gave gnats to understand something clear as day.

Neither bitch nor dickhead have the connotation that any of the above words have in my book. It was pointed out that as a writer I should know that "Words mean things. You do not get to change them at will to suit your prejudices." I would point out that as a writer I am well aware that words mean different things to different people and that the connotation of a word can be more important than the meaning of the word.

Bitch and dickhead do not, in my opinion, have the negative charge or connotations that racial remarks do. Nor do I discriminate against women by using the word bitch when I use the word dickhead (or bastard) equally towards men.

A misogynist I am not.

Feminism vs. Equalism

For a while, when I was younger, I considered myself to be a male feminist. I agreed with many of the feminist points. I do think women are abused, underpaid, undervalued, and generally treated differently then men. Whether it be sexual or financial (think of the mechanics that quote $3000 to a woman and $300 for the same job to her husband). This is wrong. And it needs to end. And if I can help the status quo change, I will.

I'm all for equality. Men, women, white, black, red, green, purple, Christian, pagan, goth, furry, dwarf, giant... we're all fucking human and should be treated equally.

What bugs me about many feminists that I've met or read online, is that they're not about equality. They're about tipping the scales in favor of women. They don't seem to care about making things right, they just care about themselves. And I'm sorry, but that's bullshit. That's just as bad a mindset as misogyny. Because if those people have their way, it will be the same world with the roles reversed. It'll be men's turn to be oppressed, and needless to say, I have a problem with that.

"Male Privilege"

As the gods are my witness, I never want to hear that term again. It's use to refer to all the advantages that (typically straight and/or white) men have that women don't.

You know, like the privilege to not be raped. The privilege to not have to think about what happens when you say "no" to someone. The privilege to be able to walk home at night and not worry about the person in the shadows. The privilege to feel safe in your own home. The privilege not to be abused by your spouse, your partner, your parent, your grandparent, your sibling, or other relatives or strangers. The privilege to not live in fear. The privilege to live your life the way you want without being oppressed for who and what you want.

Yeah. Privilege, my fucking ass. Those aren't privileges. They're rights. They're not male rights, they're human rights. You deserve those rights no matter what gender, race, creed, or sexual orientation you are.

"Male privilege" gives the connotation that it's something that men have that they don't deserve. And that's just bullshit.

If you want to say something in it's place, try "sheltered perspective". Because the only people that can truly relate to victims are other victims. Don't be sexist by insinuating that men can't be denied those rights or that they don't deserve them just as much as women.

Militant Feminism

I have two big problems with so-called feminists... the ones that I term militant feminists. One, they have a "women vs. men" approach to life. It's "us vs. them" and everything comes from that kind of perspective. Now, I agree that that's often times the case. But if you let that color your life, then you've already lost. Because you start attacking people who disagree with you and any time they disagree you end up writing it off as "oh, they’re just being defensive". Women who disagree are considered "minions of the maleocracy" or puppets dancing to the strings that men control. Rather than, y'know, having their own fucking minds and their own fucking opinions that just don't happen to mesh up with yours.

Gods forbid they happen to agree with a male, as well, especially if that's their husband or boyfriend. Because, don't you know, that's the reason they believe the way they do, because they're too stupid to think for themselves.

The second problem I have is the way that outspoken feminists treat other women. I'm sorry, there are big problems with the way the world is, and men usually do not treat women the way that they should, but don't think for a second that that gives you the right to treat other women like shit just because you happen to have tits, too.

Think that I'm exaggerating? The fact that I know not one but multiple women who have been told by militant feminists that they should be raped because they don't agree with some aspect of feminism pisses me the fuck off. Oh, yeah, one of those is my wife. Another is my girlfriend (who has been raped). And my girlfriend’s girlfriend had an issue where she disagreed with a feminist and was told to "go back to sucking your chauvinistic pig's cock like the idiot bitch you are". Never mind that she happens to be a lesbian rather than bisexual.

There's a thing called "same-race discrimination". I would posit that "same-sex discrimination" exists as well. Because of the "us vs. them" mentality, militant feminists act like "you're with us or you're against us" to other women. And when they don't behave in the expected manner, they are treated to some of the same kinds of abuse that women don't deserve to suffer at the hands of men. Not sexually, but just as damning and hurtful anyways.

Ask my wife, who's been in tears all day over this bullshit.